


feels like betrayal

by entropy_maximum (missjmelville)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 05:31:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missjmelville/pseuds/entropy_maximum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Kissing Castiel was the best thing he had ever experienced and kissing Jimmy had felt like betrayal.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	feels like betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> A five differences Dean notices between Jimmy and Cas.

Dean always wondered how much of Castiel was his vessel and how much was actually the Angel. It intrigued him, and when Dean met Jimmy, he sought out the differences and catalogued every detail for later study.

The first thing he noticed was that Jimmy’s eyes were different without Castiel inhabiting his body. They were duller, more grey than blue and didn’t seem to have the same spark that Dean had become accustomed to.

He knew Castiel’s eyes better than anything else, after all the staring contests they’d had over the months he couldn’t _not_. And seeing into Jimmy’s eyes, seeing grey reflecting his face back and not bright blue, he’d known something was wrong right then.

He had known Castiel was gone.

The second thing he noticed was how warm Jimmy’s skin was, healthy pink and soft and just _warm_ whereas Castiel had been cool, cold even, and just a few shades paler than seemed normal. Than seemed _healthy_. He’d always wondered how someone could be so pale. Jimmy blushed when he was nervous or excited, pink rising in his cheeks and making him look slightly like he was wearing makeup.

When Castiel blushed, it was with the faintest tinge of pink and it didn’t make him look girly or like he was wearing makeup, he looked innocent and flustered and utterly adorable. Of course, Dean would never admit this aloud but he thought it, sometimes.

The third thing was something Dean hadn’t really thought about much but once it came to his attention he couldn’t help but think about it. Jimmy was soft, squishy, and _human_ and so utterly vulnerable compared to Castiel. The times Dean had touched Castiel he had been shocked at the hardness of his body, hard like stone, strong and solid and not at all weak or vulnerable in any way.

When he had grabbed Jimmy to help him up, when he had thought that it was Castiel, he had been momentarily shocked at the softness, the fragility, which was the Vessel. He was glad that Castiel was not as weak and fragile as normal humans were, was glad his Angel was stronger than he looked.

The fourth difference Dean came by was kind of an accident. He hadn’t meant to kiss Jimmy, it had been reflex, so used to kissing Castiel as he was. It was just a moment, one moment in time when Dean had been overwhelmed by the situation and had forgotten that his Angel was no longer around.

He’d kissed Jimmy and had been shocked by how normal he tasted, how _human_. He was warm and wet and soft and pliable and tasted like the fast food they’d gotten him and then there’d been something else, something _Jimmy_ and it was wrong, _wrongwrongwrong_. So unlike kissing Castiel that Dean had pulled back in shock and horror, had apologised profusely before hiding in the bathroom until Sammy returned.

Kissing Castiel was like dunking your head in a pool of ice-cold water, invigorating, cold, and fresh. Castiel was always cold and smooth and hard and never gave an inch and he tasted like marble and mountain pines and fresh morning dew. Kissing Castiel was the best thing he had ever experienced and kissing Jimmy had felt like betrayal.

The fifth thing was probably the most obvious. Jimmy sounded nothing like Castiel, and when Dean compared the two voices in his head he figured it was because Castiel’s was much deeper, brimming with static electricity and power. Jimmy’s was just normal, flat and boring whereas Castiel’s had depth, had layers.

Dean knew it wasn’t Castiel’s true voice, not by a long shot, but there were hints of it, hints of raw energy and eardrum-bursting power. In other words, Jimmy’s voice was boring like a small grey stone but Castiel’s, Castiel’s was like a rainbow, it was bright and colourful and _huge_.

The things that made up Castiel, the things that made him so much more than human, they were the things Dean loved the most. Bright blue eyes, pale skin, cold and hard, he was like Dean’s own personal marble statue come to life. And Dean knew that if he were to see Castiel’s true form that it would be all of these things and more, it would be magnificent.


End file.
